A Little Misunderstanding
Rollin Jewett
“What kind of a place is this, anyway?” asked Sally as they walked from Buzz’s car to the entrance of the nightclub. Buzz chuckled slightly and gave a swish of his hand.
“Well,” he said in a high-pitched nasal voice that was not his own. “Most people who come here are of a certain persuasion, does that give you a clue?”
Then he added in his own voice, “Listen, I’ve been here a few times. There’s nothing to worry about. We’ll just have a few drinks and check out the drag show, okay? Anyway, it’s the only place open after two, right? “
“Well, I don’t know...” Sally said doubtfully. On the way to the entrance they passed a few shady looking people. They weren’t sure what they were.
“Was that a guy?” she whispered to Buzz, as he paid the cover charges.
“I don’t know, but he had nice boobs!” he said. She laughed and slapped him lightly on the arm.
“You pervert.” she said.
“Me? Wait ‘til you get inside.” When they entered, it was very dark and their eyes had to adjust. They stumbled around blindly for a while until they got to the dimly lighted bar. The bartender was wearing a black sequined dress with red high heel shoes. He was, or had once been, a male. His mascaraed eyes lit up when he saw Buzz. They narrowed a bit when he saw Sally next to him.
“Hi, tiger, what’ll you have?” he said in a baritone voice that didn’t fit the made-up girlish face. Buzz gave him their order and looked at Sally. She was nervously glancing around the room to see if she knew anyone. She hoped she didn’t.
“Don’t worry. If anyone you know sees you, they’ll never tell anyone about it. They’d be incriminating themselves. Besides, you’re with the best looking guy in the joint. Except for the bartender, but he doesn’t count.”
The bartender heard him and said, “Watch it.”
“Just joking,” said Buzz. He didn’t want to fight and ruin the bartender’s pretty dress. Besides, he was in an amiable mood and just wanted to catch a good buzz, be entertained for awhile, and then take Sally home to bed. He got their drinks, tipped the bartender, and led Sally to a table that had a good view of the stage. They sat down and in a few minutes the music started. A faceless voice introduced the act.
“And now, for your entertainment pleasure, here’s the wildest bitch in the city, Miss Ronda Tanner!”
The music got louder. It was a Donna Summer disco song. Ronda Tanner walked gracefully out on stage and began to dance and lip-sync the song. Buzz looked at Sally. He could see that she was interested and fascinated at what was going on. He put his arm around her and tried to kiss her. She laughed coyly and pulled away.
“Let’s watch the show,” she said.
The transvestite started taking off various articles of clothing. First, the turquoise feather boa, which she twisted around her body and flashed between her thighs. Then she took off her cape and threw it on the ground.
Buzz watched for a while, amazed as he always was when he came here, that a man could make himself look so much like a woman. I mean, this Ronda Tanner was a knockout! She, or he, or whatever, had a gorgeous face, dark and mysterious…dazzling eyes, and lustrous long brown hair. She had a model-slim body and great long legs. Hell, she even had perfect boobs. Those hormone injections were really something.
Buzz watched as Ronda Tanner squeezed one boob, then the other, as if to say, “Yes, they’re real.” Buzz couldn’t help but get a little turned on by it. He glanced over at Sally again. She didn’t look so fascinated anymore. There was a disgusted and slightly contemptuous look on her face now. Buzz leaned over and asked her what she thought of the show.
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” she said. “It’s just some guy dressed up like a girl imitating Donna Summer.”
“The point is that he is so absolutely good at it. He’s more beautiful than some of the girls I date…and more feminine, too.” He knew by the look on her face that he had said a very stupid thing.
“What I mean is,” he said quickly, but she interrupted him.
“If you think he’s so gorgeous, why don’t you ask him out the next time you want to come here. He could probably get you in for free.” She had taken his comment as a personal insult. She was angry as hell and just possibly a bit jealous, too.
“Now, come on,” he said, “I didn’t mean you.” That didn’t help any, though. She was still as angry as ever. She looked at him scornfully.
“What do you do…take girls here and compare them to that fruit up there and if they don’t measure up you insult them?” She got up to go. Buzz stood up and said, “Now, wait a minute,” but she interrupted him again.
“Never mind,” she said, “I can call my own cab.” She had a self-righteous haughty attitude that Buzz didn’t like at all. It was only a little misunderstanding. She didn’t have to get so uppity about it.
Buzz shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “Fine, if that’s the way you want it” and sat down. She glared at him once and then huffed off to call a cab.
Buzz sighed and started to watch the show again. Ronda Tanner only had a G-string on now. Buzz thought about Sally for a moment. He probably wouldn’t have gotten anything off her anyway. Uppity southern prude. He called a waitress or waiter or whatever over and ordered another drink. A double. Then he sat back and watched the rest of the show. He wondered what Ronda Tanner was doing afterwards.
Maybe he could buy her a drink.
Feel free to send us feedback.